During these last five years, I've learned that all things come full circle, especially the crap you pulled as a child. Let me take this opportunity to apologize to my mother... again. And offer my condolences to my own children, who are really in for it when they are parents themselves.
Here is a top five list of the wild things they've done, just so you get the picture.
5- I've scrubbed (insert shudder here) poop off the walls on more than one occasion. Side note: there are now crayons in every room of the house in case my daughter feels the need to be "creative" again.
4- I've cleaned fruitloops- and poor, deceased fish- out of our family fish tank. This is a personal favorite of mine, if only because of my son's reaction when I woke up and caught them "feeding" the fish. He puts his little hands in the air and goes "Ok, Momma, now don't get mad..."
3- There's the time my oldest stuck a paper towel in the toaster and I had to rip the flaming thing out of the wall, hurl it out the back door, and then let the fire inspector inside in my bathrobe. Oh, and I was nine months pregnant.
2- My daughter snuck into the fridge and decided to "make" breakfast for her and her brothers. This included milk on the rug, cereal in the bed, and raw egg EVERYWHERE! Another side note: This started a whole butt-load of hoarding adventure. There are far too many to list, but use your imagination. Trust me, you won't be far off.
1- And probably the best- and least destructive- moment of all was when my daughter painted my son's toenails florescent pink. In his sleep. With a sharpie.
I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I no longer sleep, and recently found my first gray hair. But hey, at least I'll never run short of writing material! I love you my crazy, amazing kids!!!
Hooray for wonderful mayhem!
-Ali
